What Next?

What next?

Don’t we all want to know what is next?  It is January 6 and I wonder, wonder, wonder what this year will bring.  I know some things that might happen, things that I am hoping will happen, and that I want to try to make happen, but what what what will happen?

 

Friends with whom I spent New Years Eve and I discussed our answers to the question of whether, if we could, would we want to know when we were going to die?  Interesting to ponder (though for me, it requires admitting that I am actually going to die someday, a thought with which I certainly have not reckoned), and we all had different responses.  Fear.  Motivation.  Freedom.

But I digress.  I guess I am really thinking about ageing.  I turned 60 a few months ago, and while I grumbled about it and secretly relish the fact that according to most, I don’t “look” 60, I am witnessing new changes to my body that happen with age.  Arthritis here.  Loss of mobility there.  Daily aches.  Change in bra size.  Changing skin texture.  And whether or not I “look” sixty in my face, and whether I feel like what I think 60 feels like, I am.  And it is older than 50 and 40 and 30.

And yet, I am at the beginning of a new chapter.  I am very deeply in love with a wonderful man and we plan to marry this year.  We are establishing our lives together, and work may take us to a new locale.  My kids are gone to New York and their respective careers.  And my business is no longer a turnaround, and the fun/difficulty of growth is ahead of me.

So much happiness came my way last year.  So much sadness came others’ way last year.  And so I realize, I don’t have the slightest idea of what’s next.  All I know is that I am better prepared to deal with it than ever before, and I guess that’s the best one can wish for.