In Defense of The Dead Trees Version

Have you eliminated much of the paper media in your life?  I have.  No more daily New York Times, no more print version of the New Yorker, no more subscriptions to food magazines or shelter magazines or fashion magazines.  And far fewer books, having converted to reading from my iPad a couple of years ago in deference to all the traveling I do.

The result?  I read less.  I cook less.  I know less.  Sure, I am a product of my generation, raised on printed editions of everything.  But just as certain is the fact that I’m a modern woman, equipped with every gadget and considered a pretty savvy user of many things electronic.  And I don’t like what is happening to me as all things in my life go digital.

In the airport this morning I allowed myself to buy two magazines, Food and Wine and Elle Décor.  Oh, those gorgeous pictures!  Mmm, those dishes I wanted to cook!  And oh look, restaurant recommendations for cities I might want to visit, inspiration for rooms I might never live in but then again might, and ideas I would never have considered reading about if all I saw was a headline on my iPad.

Don’t get me wrong; I love the digital life, too.  I love to shop online and learn about so much online, I love the immediacy of communication and learning and watching and listening.   Music, video, TED, Facebook, Instagram – yup, I’m hooked.

I think it just might be time to acknowledge and celebrate the fact that there is just something different and desirable about printed media, from the flipping of pages to the serendipity, from the invitation of a glossy page to the ability to tell a story that resembles reality more closely that its back-lit version.

Running an online business that is dependent on a printed catalog,  I have tried for years to figure out if we could get rid of the damn catalog; it is time consuming and expensive to produce and can’t come close to showing all the beautiful work we carry.  But oh, the delight I hear about over and over again from customers about receiving the catalog in home, the anticipation of it and the possibilities it inspires.

I get it, I get it big time.  While waiting for a connecting flight, I’ve just signed up for print magazine subscriptions, not as many as I used to get, but more than the zero which currently come to my home.  I want that inspiration to read and look and explore.  How about you?

What Really Matters

I’m getting married.  Yes, really, at age 60, I am getting married this fall to a man with whom I am deeply in love.  When asked why I would consider this step, why “bother” to get married again and enter the complications of marriage after dealing with all the difficulties of divorce, the answer is fairly simple: because I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, and I respect the commitment that marriage brings, the commitment to work at loving and respecting and growing with someone else.  I want another chance at this with all the knowledge I have gained over the years about life and relationships.

My first marriage took place when I was 23 in 1976.   (As I write those words it seems positively amazing that anyone could think they know who the right life-partner could be at age 23, yet we had a long marriage which produced two extraordinary children.)  The wedding itself was very much of the times:  I sewed our wedding outfits, a friend baked a cake topped with naked bride and groom cookies (I kid you not) and some strange dog walked in the front door, snoozed through the wedding, and left.  We had no money for a fancy wedding, nor did we want one.

Planning a wedding this time around is so different.  We both have families with several generations.  We have lifelong friends we want included.  We have some disposable income.  And I am having a wonderful time planning the event.  I can easily understand how a young bride-to-be can get so swept up in the planning, the details.  There are so many details, and tradition dictates even more.  Wedding fantasies placed in young girls’ heads come bubbling out and put immense pressure on the event. 

I am not young and never had that wedding fantasy.  But I can find myself climbing down that rabbit hole of details.  I love being the producer of events, but for such a significant event, I find myself involved with some detail or other every day – and we are 8 months away!  What will I wear?  (I am having a great time with this one!) Do I have to have invitations?  Where will everyone stay?  Are there parts of a wedding that tradition dictates that I don’t want to forget?  Flowers?  Music?  Help!

And then I remember what matters – that I am committing to a life with my partner.  That’s all, that’s what it’s all about.  The rest will fall in place, including my dress.